I’d like to go by “J.” I’m 59 years old. I joined Alliance’s CHOICES in April after I overdosed three straight times when I took what I thought was heroin. If the ambulances hadn't saved me, I'd be dead.
I had been doing heroin, crack, angel dust, pills, and valium for 45 years. Heroin hadn't been "fun" for me for a while, and I’d tried to quit it a lot. My body craved it, and I was in serious pain without it. Heroin you feel physically. Crack is mental. Without heroin, your body hurts everywhere.
Heroin was also the worst drug for me because the things I did to make money for it were dehumanizing. Some of these things landed me in jail, and I was taking methadone when I was in jail, but when I got out, I'd crave heroin and start all over again. Nothing had changed.
After that third overdose in April, I said no more. NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital from the Bronx referred me to Alliance, and after consulting the staff here I started taking Suboxone. They eased me into it with low doses, called microdosing, and I take Suboxone twice a day.
I come to group therapy meetings here. I don't talk much, but I listen to other people. It helps a little, but being on Suboxone is helping me more. Now I don't even think about heroin. I feel proud of myself. Oh yeah I do! I don't wake up sick anymore and have to go get money and get to a spot to get my fix. It's been over three months. I feel like I got another chance.
Now with my extra time and money, I want to take care of myself with healthier food and nicer clothes, and enjoy my apartment. I'm not the most social guy. I like to walk around, go to parks. I've always had anxiety and depression. I know that's not going to go away just because I got sober.
I receive social security because of my anxiety and depression. I have PTSD. I was seeing a psychiatrist with another program, but I was discharged and cut off from them. Alliance is helping me find another psychiatrist.
Thank God I got on Suboxone. Life isn't going to be easy, I still have these challenges that I can't control, but I'm glad to be sober.
I'd tell people who are interested in Suboxone it's your choice, I respect whatever you do. It's their own choice, I can't tell anyone what to do. But I know it worked for me.